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Sunday, January 31, 2010

Oh boy you've left me speechless!

Time to vent.

I was involved with an awkward situation this evening. I personally believe that I attract creepy men. I often feel like weak prey for creepy people to pounce on.

Tonight I was hit on by a 3o something year old guy at my work place. This person was sober from my observation. Firstly I am forbidden to 'hook up' with guests at my workplace. Although it is the environment where the situation arises. Security cameras fortunately stop this temptation. Although this situation I was not tempted.

If you come to my workplace with your wife and child you would have to think I was stupid to think that I would be a homewrecker. I also don't hit on someone while they're working. Its not the kinda place you would like to be hit on. It's not fair. I have to be professional. Anything I say or do while at work could affect my employment. I don't like to be sneaky its the reason I don't like 'hookups' I'm not looking for just sex I want passion I want love. Does it exist in the gay world?

This guy assured me that he has never done this before but wanted to do something later. He even offered to rent a room at a hotel. He was persistent. He didn't give up. He kept asking if I was shy and if I had changed my mind. I asked him what his wife thought of this. He was quite shocked by this question and said he didn't have a wife but had a girlfriend. He also told me he was only in town for the evening.

Who are these people? Is this situation actually that bad? I felt sick to my stomach. I saw his wife. I saw his kid. Are you a closeted married man? Or are you simply curious? I don't like rejection but I was firm. I told you several times I wasn't interested. Why go that bit further and just creep me out.

Its got me thinking though. One of my colleagues tried to 'In' me. He said he knows I'm gay but has never seen me hit on someone or allowed someone to hit on me. Should I just loosen up a bit and go with the flow? Am I putting to much pressure on what I want and not living in the moment? So confused right now.

On another note what is the deal with straight guys? When they find out I'm gay theyre like I won't go all the way with you but we could fool around. I mean thats hot but straight guys can fuck with your head! I've got a whole other post to write about straight guys uhh! Where are the normal people?

Any thoughts? Am I being stupid?

Andrew

7 comments:

naturgesetz said...

I think you did the right thing by turning down the guy's advances. Not only is it something that could make trouble for you on your job, but it also is not what you want.

So don't let yourself get pressured into doing something you don't want to do. I think I understand a bit of how it feels, because I don't like refusing requests. I'm not talking about sex — I don't get those requests — but just in general. When someone pleads and cajoles, it's not easy to say no, at least until I get annoyed with them for refusing to accept my answer.

I think you would do well to try to work on a way to tell people like that, "I meant it when I said no the first time. The answer is still no, and it will always be no. So please don't make me angry by treating me like someone who doesn't mean what he says. Drop it, please! Now!"

When you're good-looking, you'll probably get lots of people hitting on you, but you can hold out for real love and genuine affection, not just lust and physical attraction.

Stick to your principles. You aren't being stupid.

cvn70 said...

Andrew

I agree you did the right thing and if something doesnt feel right then dont get involved in it. There is nothing wrong with being gay and having a set of morals you set

I do hope you find someone that fits for you and doesnt creep you out. Straight guys and how they think i cant help you there lol

take care and be safe

bob

Micky said...

I had that thing of a creepy guy, ten years or so older than I was, trying it on. When I kept saying no he went to the stroking and touching stage.

This guy was a friend of a friend and, unfortunately, I saw him quite frequently. I got to hate his very voice, his presence everything about him. People don't realise how very off-putting repeated approaches are when you don't like the person.


On the other hand - if you do like a guy, and he seems genuinely to want to spend time with you, then why not? You know about safe sex and you know what the risks are of getting entangled. I'm sure you could cope with the slight let-down there can be the following morning.

Wanting to have a romantic, passionate love affair is no reason to turn down sex when you want it!

You'll probably only be so very attractive to guys for a limited period of your life.

Take it from me that if you don't take advantage of that now then you will regret it later.

There's no point in saying 'no' for the sake of it - the Man from Del Monte had it right - sometimes, anyway!

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Call me Scott said...

When it comes to straight men, they are a very mixed bag, some are super straight and others are kind of all over the spectrum. But in my experience (which when I really think about it is pretty sizable....) they are not a good thing, so be happy mate, you made the right choice.

Now dont feel too bad about stuff like that happening at work. I was a bartender in a gay bar when i was 18 and even on the straight nights I had the odd pat on the backside or a big tip, from a guy who wanted my number. Just let it be water off of a ducks back.

Anyway good luck mate, you will do great im sure :).

endim mawess said...

stupid you? go ahead! your is a blogger. se fosse aqui no Brasil te pegava

Oscar said...

You sound more naive than 'stupid'. I understand not wanting any upset about work but face reality-are people supposed to make an appointment when they want to try and pick someone up?.

And how will you know when it comes to you and the shoe is on the other foot. Perhaps you may make a social gaffe yourself. It isn't like there are any rules in this life about how asignations come about. You need to be more flexible in your thinking but you can be forgiven-the young are always forgiven !

As to straight guys-all men are basically physical beings and will dabble and in fact a straight guy is more likely to go with a gay guy as it sort of absolves him of doing something he may not normaly do.

On the other hand-there are just far more people out there that given the opportunity will experiment sexually even if it's only for one time.