Sunday, February 6, 2011

Your diamond words melted into some ice

When I think about myself a year ago I think about my views on relationships and sex. I never believed that a monogamous relationship could exist in the gay community. I really thought I was destined for a life of games and heartbreak. A life of cheat and betrayal. This opinion was my instinct, my protection from getting hurt. My expectation was so low i lived without hope. This gets me wondering if other's feel the same. What life changing moment instilled these thoughts in my head. When I found love how much did I fight it to prevent getting hurt ?

Today I have the discussion with my partner Mark. Well not so much as the discussion but the argument. My point is with these views on relationships how long does my 'get out of jail free card' last? Sometimes I do feel this way. Can I really make a valid point that I'm actually doing good considering my previous commitment issues? And when I say commitment issues where they ever real? Or is this another 'get out of jail free card?' I take love for granted. I have no idea how it happened but it has. In less than one year I've gone from living alone and independently to living with my boyfriend. Not only living with my boyfriend but becoming dependant on another person. I lost my main source of income and I'm comfortable depending on him while I take a break, I can't sleep without him in our bed. I tell him everything. Do I know this person? Where did he come from?

Don't get me wrong I'm happier than I could of ever imagined and I'm not really sure what my point is?

I'm not even a year into my relationship and I know it's going to last. No doubt in my mind. I'm not blind in this relationship.
The puppy love hasn't worn off but I know that it takes effort to keep love alive. Anyone out there been in a long-term relationship who has some advice?

Never give up on love


P.S. I know its been a while since I updated this little blog of mine but if anyone has an questions for me I'd be more than happy to answer them. Leave em' in the comment section or email them to