Thursday, June 18, 2009

Sugar Daddy

This week I was asked out for a date!!! OMG you're thinking this is great news! Well you're wrong! It was one of the most creepy and uncomfortable experiences of my life. Here is how it all went down.

So I'm at work and this older gentleman (at least twice my age) comes up to the bar. He is friendly and I am my usual friendly self and we chat briefly everytime he gets another drink. He was pretty chatty and was tipping quite well so I was happy to have a brief conversation. Everything seems fine at this stage.

Anyway I see him scribbling down some notes on a piece of paper. I get this odd feeling that whatever he is writing down is for me. Sure enough it is.

He hands me this folded piece of paper and goes back to his seat. I hold the note. I'm pretty sure I know exactly what this is. BTW - is it still acceptable to write notes to pick up people?

So I go out the back behind the bar where he can't see me and open this note and this is what it says:

"Dear Andrew

I know we've just met however I need to be discreet and hope that you do the same. I was hoping we could have a drink when you finish work or maybe more.

Guys name
Guys phone number "

I immediately felt sick. This creepy guy was trying to pick me up at work. Not only did he immaturely pass me a note. But he also went back to his seat and stared at me. He didn't have the guts to talk to me but he expected me to come over and talk to him about the note. So I panicked. I got someone to cover the bar and I hid. I felt sick. Why was he hanging around? I couldnt go back out into the bar.

Half an hour passes and I tried to build up the courage to go and talk to him but I freaked out. In the end he ended up finding me and cornering me alone. He put his hand on my shoulder. He asked me about the note. I said that he was making me feel uncomfortable and that I thought he should leave.

He would have to be in his 50's. I'm 21 FFS! My dad isn't even 50! Looking back and reflecting I feel even worse about some of the things he said. It didn't seem to out of the ordinary at the time. But I gave out too much information about myself. I'm an honest person and he took advantage of that.

After all this happened I had 2 nights off work and when I went back to work I found out that this guy had been in both nights. Luckily he didn't come back in that night. Work isnt supposed to be a place you feel uncomfortable but everytime I walk around a corner I see his face and have to do a double take.

Luckily I have amazing Karate skills. (just kidding lol)


P.S. Tyler - I will email you soon! Haven't had a chance yet! Thanks buddy :D


Tyler said...

oooh, ok :D

T_boy said...

man i know how u feel...i'm not old enuf to be ur dad but i still wouldnt try n pick up a 21yr old we get it all the time down melb

i remember havin to rescue a friend on his 18th bday from a creepy 60+ old man once (mind u it was funny to me n my mates since we did warn him n he didnt believe us)

ps thx for the comment man it means a lot

Jeremy said...

O__O That is creepy....

Well don't fret about it, if he tries to talk to you again you can just tell him he's older than your father. lol


Sethy said...

"I'm really flattered... but seriously...."

That was always my standard response.

Guess I'm mostly in the other guy's shoes these days.

But seriously, I've had a few opposite situations where I've had to say "I'm flattered, but seriously I could be your dad."

Life is funny sometimes.....

Anonymous said...

I had this twice weekly for a while and my prob. was it was an older friend of my then b/friend who said he wasn't a problem.

Each time I told this guy, a little more firmly, to let me alone and each time he'd been fine for a meeting or two and then go back to square one.

After a time I refused to be alone with him because he'd always have his hands all over me. I tried everything - but the not being alone thing was the only way I could stop him groping me and asking for favours.

Good luck - use the mob!

russano said...

Aww poor thing, i had an old guy like 100 try and pic up a guy i was with when we went to the wickim. He wanted to paint him or something. even when we made out in front of him he was still interested in him. i was scared he would rape me so i got my dike friend to tell him to piss off xD
What bar do you work at may i be so bold as to ask?
There is this cute guy at the beat i am too shy to talk to him and one time he passed me a drink and then i knocked it over all on the bar, i was soo embarrassed. he gave me another one and i ran away and perved from afar :$

torchy! said...

i imagine you will run into this from time to time. i've no experience with this myself, but a pleasant, firm and dismissive 'i'm flattered, but you're way too old for me' ought to do the trick.

good luck

naturgesetz said...

Hopefully this won't be a regular occurrence, but you can learn from this one. Several people have given ideas of what you could say to turn someone down if it happens again. If there is another note, maybe shaking your head slowly "no" when he looks across the room would be a good idea.

Anyway, the sooner you communicate the refusal, the better. Because the longer you take, the more it seems you're not sure about your answer.

Samad said...

um, don't you think you're overreacting?

he just gave you a note asking you out. he didn't corner you naked, and rubbed all over you.

a polite and firm NO would suffice. you better get used to these attention. otherwise it's gonna be a bit weird for you to totally spaz out everytime someone fugly hit on you.

remember a few months ago? when you 'accidentally' got a coworker fired?

Baz said...

Re; Last paragraph.
As you know little or no real detail about that incident, I consider your insinuation (implied by quotation marks) to be totally inappropriate.