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Saturday, June 13, 2009

Hetero Sex & Gay Pride

So thanks for the comments on Part 1. I thought I should clarify something. This wasn't a recent event this was a few years ago. I've come along way since then and tt was kinda a turning point for me sexuality wise.

So I wen't soft when I was with this girl. I was mortified. I really don't know what was going on. I was quite drunk at the time and that was what I blamed it on but I knew deep down that I just wasnt attracted to the opposite sex. I hate to say that I had to test drive having sex with a female to be sure but I had to. We kinda fooled around for a bit after that. I didnt finish myself but she sure made did. I had a restless sleep that night. The next morning was awkward. We just hung out for a bit then I dropped her home. She was still really interested in me and I was just confused. I was a real jerk. I didnt return text messages or phone calls for about a week. I wanted to let her down easy but I knew that being the guy I am I would end up on another date out of sympathy. So I ignored her until she got the point and sent me an angry email. I have ran into her a few times since and she has tried to 'hook up' with me but I know I'm gay now and maybe one day I will explain why I was such a jerk. I don't really want any girl to think that they 'turned me agay' cause that isn't the case.

It got me thinking about being others being bi. Alot of people say that being bi is like 'on the way to gay town' but they just cant admit it. But I really think if you can sleep with guys and gals then there really is such a thing. I know I'm not attracted to women. I never have been. But I always dreamt of falling in love with a sweet girl and having a happy family. I guess they're dreams for a reason.

******

In other news. Today I was talking to this guy who works near me. He comes in to where I work all the time. I always thought he was cute. But thought he was straight. Well he comes up to me today and is like 'you should have come to Pride today'. I was kinda shocked .. like pride? does he mean gay pride? I don't know if this was some kinda attempt to see if I was gay. But I kinda was unsure about what he was talking about until I clarified it with someone else later. I did see him about 5 minutes later and he looked really upset. Poor thing. I feel like he took a risk to talk to me about gay pride and I kinda reacted like a uncomfortable straight guy.

Is it ok to assume someone is gay because they went to gay pride? Should I clarify things with him? I feel bad. Truth is I was just caught off guard at the time. Dam me and my lack of gay knowledge How did I not now about the gay pride parade in my own city?

10 comments:

Slave Simon said...

I'm attracted to some women.
The odd thing is they are often the ones that look like men.
So I just stick to men now.

Luv
Tigs

naturgesetz said...

IMO it would be a kindness to apologize to the guy. You can tell him he caught you by surprise, you had always assumed he was straight and you wondered if it meant he was gay, and you just didn't know how to answer on the spur of the moment.

From what I've seen here in the blogosphere, I gather there are people who have never thought they were anything but straight and so when they first realize they find the same sex attractive they think they're bi. Later they realize they are really gay. But other people are really bi. Time will tell.

cvn70 said...

Andrew

its anatural reaction we buold up to protect ourselves a bit it think. We just dont want people knowing we are gay

hope allelse is ell and take care and be safe

bob

Micky said...

I have a theory that most people at Gay Pride and Mardi Gras are not gay at all. When you look at all the service crews, of one sort and another, all the people lining the roads during the parade, and half the kids in the open air music events - they can't in an million years, all be gay!

Women? I'm sure I told you I screwed a couple after I'd turned to men as what I wanted most of.

Micky said...

I believe we're mostly bisexual. It's society and politics that pushes people to be completely gay as it pushes them to be completely straight.

But I take N's point and agree that many guys describe themselves as bisexual because they haven't the guts to say 'HEY I'M GAY AND WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?"

patski said...

I go to pride and I'm mostly str8. I go to support my friends. :)

Tyler said...

hey, did u still want to email me?

Samad said...

I would approach the guy again, and talk to him. Simply for curiosity.

Why? It seems kinda far fetched that he was upset over what you said. You didn't say anything homophobic.

Best get to the bottom (hehe) of this.

Not to mention he's cute. And you're seem to be admiring him. Who knows...

Jon said...

Sorry for commenting on old posts, but I guess I see a similarity to your experience and what I have gone through in my life. I am one of those Bi guys, and yes I get "you can't be, you are either gay or straight, and since you even think you might like guys you must be gay"...or something to that effect.

However, this is just not true, for me at least. I do genuinely like girls and have had sex with more girls than guys (which is not many for either category). And I truly am attracted to guys as well. There really is not a conflict for me, I don't feel bad after hooking up with a guy, I don't feel bad after hooking up with a girl, well unless I have been an ass and I should feel bad.

It may be hard for some to believe but it is just the way I am wired I guess.

Anyway, love the blog, it is so nice to hear about Brisie, I miss it and can't wait to get back in August!

Jon

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