Sunday, February 6, 2011

Your diamond words melted into some ice

When I think about myself a year ago I think about my views on relationships and sex. I never believed that a monogamous relationship could exist in the gay community. I really thought I was destined for a life of games and heartbreak. A life of cheat and betrayal. This opinion was my instinct, my protection from getting hurt. My expectation was so low i lived without hope. This gets me wondering if other's feel the same. What life changing moment instilled these thoughts in my head. When I found love how much did I fight it to prevent getting hurt ?

Today I have the discussion with my partner Mark. Well not so much as the discussion but the argument. My point is with these views on relationships how long does my 'get out of jail free card' last? Sometimes I do feel this way. Can I really make a valid point that I'm actually doing good considering my previous commitment issues? And when I say commitment issues where they ever real? Or is this another 'get out of jail free card?' I take love for granted. I have no idea how it happened but it has. In less than one year I've gone from living alone and independently to living with my boyfriend. Not only living with my boyfriend but becoming dependant on another person. I lost my main source of income and I'm comfortable depending on him while I take a break, I can't sleep without him in our bed. I tell him everything. Do I know this person? Where did he come from?

Don't get me wrong I'm happier than I could of ever imagined and I'm not really sure what my point is?

I'm not even a year into my relationship and I know it's going to last. No doubt in my mind. I'm not blind in this relationship.
The puppy love hasn't worn off but I know that it takes effort to keep love alive. Anyone out there been in a long-term relationship who has some advice?

Never give up on love


P.S. I know its been a while since I updated this little blog of mine but if anyone has an questions for me I'd be more than happy to answer them. Leave em' in the comment section or email them to


Gauss Jordan said...

Hey, that's pretty cool. I'm still waiting to meet that perfect guy that I just know I want to spend eternity with. :-)

It's awesome that you met someone that fits that bill.

brisbob said...

Andrew. Naturally I wish you well in your newfound romance and I would not presume to advise, in spite of your invitation, as I know nothing about either of you.
I would offer however, from a viewpoint of (very) advanced age and a 35 year relationship, some points for your consideration. Enjoy the intoxicating 'rush' of it all but be aware that, to make a relationship 'work', it will take work on both your parts and a degree of acceptance of the perhaps not-so-good along with the good.
What do you expect of him and in return what are you prepared to yield? For instance, there's not a day that my partner and/or his family don't drive me up the wall but I wouldn't change him for quids! It comes down to 'I put up with him 'coz he puts up with me!'
I would only caution do not let passion, I am careful not to use the term love here for 'love' takes time to build, sway you into conceding too much for - without a core of 'this is me' - you are no longer 'you' and become a mere appendage in the relationship.
Sorry if this all sounds pessimistic, as one ages one become so unfortunately, but in this increasingly transient world the odds are not propitious which is NOT to say that you shouldn't grab it with both hands and run with it! Better one crowded hour of glorious life than an age without a name.
So go for it mate and, if it doesn't work out for whatever reason, it's been a learning experience and there IS someone out there somewhere for you! I'm as envious as fuck and I really wish you well, I sincerely do!
Cordially. Bob

Seth said...

Hi! It's Sethboyardee here. Sorry to be rude and drop this comment here a bit selfish of me, and completely off subject - but I've recently returned to blog land after being killed by Google and was hoping you could mention me, follow me, and especially link to me.


Also I will be rebuilding my link list so let me know if I can reciproacte. Thanks again!!

Have a good one!

Akira said...

Hi, I am Akira from Tokyo, Japan. I have been looking through various gay blogs and I have reached yours.

Well, you are still very young and it is not surprising that you are rather unsure about your feelings or about your future.

One thing I can tell you from my own experience is this - you should enjoy yourself. Long term relationship or true love is not something you can bring about to yourself in a controlled manner - it is God's doing.

You have a good body with nice parts, I am sure, so you should make the best use of them! No guilt sentiment is required.

Now, I hope you can help me with my language problem. We have a word in Japanese which describes an ejaculation caused by stimulus to the anus by dildo or by penis without direct stimulus to the penis of the receiving bottom - tokoroten.

Do you have a word in English for this type of ejaculation?

Jorge said...

Hey there,
I have to agree that commited realationships are hard to come by in the gay community, especially for us young ones.
Glad to read that someone found one though.
I think you should update more often, I like reading your post.

All Aces Brisbane said...

Have a wonderful time with your partner. Just don't give up on love.