Boy about Brisbane

Your diamond words melted into some ice

2011-02-06T14:00:00.002+10:00

When I think about myself a year ago I think about my views on relationships and sex. I never believed that a monogamous relationship could exist in the gay community. I really thought I was destined for a life of games and heartbreak. A life of cheat and betrayal. This opinion was my instinct, my protection from getting hurt. My expectation was so low i lived without hope. This gets me wondering if other's feel the same. What life changing moment instilled these thoughts in my head. When I found love how much did I fight it to prevent getting hurt ?

Today I have the discussion with my partner Mark. Well not so much as the discussion but the argument. My point is with these views on relationships how long does my 'get out of jail free card' last? Sometimes I do feel this way. Can I really make a valid point that I'm actually doing good considering my previous commitment issues? And when I say commitment issues where they ever real? Or is this another 'get out of jail free card?' I take love for granted. I have no idea how it happened but it has. In less than one year I've gone from living alone and independently to living with my boyfriend. Not only living with my boyfriend but becoming dependant on another person. I lost my main source of income and I'm comfortable depending on him while I take a break, I can't sleep without him in our bed. I tell him everything. Do I know this person? Where did he come from?

Don't get me wrong I'm happier than I could of ever imagined and I'm not really sure what my point is?

I'm not even a year into my relationship and I know it's going to last. No doubt in my mind. I'm not blind in this relationship.
The puppy love hasn't worn off but I know that it takes effort to keep love alive. Anyone out there been in a long-term relationship who has some advice?

Never give up on love

Andrew

P.S. I know its been a while since I updated this little blog of mine but if anyone has an questions for me I'd be more than happy to answer them. Leave em' in the comment section or email them to boyaboutbrisbane@gmail.com

'Just give in. Don't give up baby'

2010-07-26T04:17:00.003+10:00

So its been around five or six months since I last posted. Shame on me. Why am I blogging? I had the urge. Does this mean I'm back in blogworld on a regular basis? Unlikely.

Well where to start? I don't want the first thing I write to be 'I have a boyfriend' because that sounds like thats all thats going on in my life. But thats essentially what this blog is about. Its about my love life. No one wants to hear about how I love my job or my favourite tv show. lol

So yes I have a boyfriend and things are going really well with him. In the beginning we had our ups and downs. Then I stopped thinking with my head and followed my heart and I'm so happy where its gotten me.

It all started several months ago.

Mark and I actually work together (different departments) and our workplace parties together quite regularly. I had a bet going with my friend that Mark was gay. She ended up asking him about it and he said he wasn't. I didnt buy it. So that night one by one everyone started leaving and finally we were left alone. Mark invited me to his place to have a few more drinks. Well to put a long story short. He had never felt an attraction to guys before he met me and he has only ever had straight relationships/sex. (I know what you're thinking I TURNED ONE). We fooled around a little that night and continued fooling around that week.

My head ended up going crazy... I didnt like that I was his first guy. I felt I had to make this an amazing experience, one that wouldnt turn him off men for the rest of his life. I don't know what I was thinking but my head was messing with my head so much that I could never cum when I was with him. So I ended things. We continued hooking up. Same deal. I ended things. He kept trying and trying and trying to make me believe that he actually wanted to be with me and in the end I said fuck it and gave Mark another chance and things are amazing. Its still puppy love and I never want it to wear off. I think what makes Mark different is he's just a regular guy, theres no bullshit, no games or drama (and the sex in amazing).

I have some something so simple that was shared with me by a friend and I want to share it to you:

'Keep yourself open to the idea that there is someone out there for you however the second you stop looking for love is the second it finds you.'

Oh boy you've left me speechless!

2010-01-31T18:09:00.003+10:00

Time to vent.

I was involved with an awkward situation this evening. I personally believe that I attract creepy men. I often feel like weak prey for creepy people to pounce on.

Tonight I was hit on by a 3o something year old guy at my work place. This person was sober from my observation. Firstly I am forbidden to 'hook up' with guests at my workplace. Although it is the environment where the situation arises. Security cameras fortunately stop this temptation. Although this situation I was not tempted.

If you come to my workplace with your wife and child you would have to think I was stupid to think that I would be a homewrecker. I also don't hit on someone while they're working. Its not the kinda place you would like to be hit on. It's not fair. I have to be professional. Anything I say or do while at work could affect my employment. I don't like to be sneaky its the reason I don't like 'hookups' I'm not looking for just sex I want passion I want love. Does it exist in the gay world?

This guy assured me that he has never done this before but wanted to do something later. He even offered to rent a room at a hotel. He was persistent. He didn't give up. He kept asking if I was shy and if I had changed my mind. I asked him what his wife thought of this. He was quite shocked by this question and said he didn't have a wife but had a girlfriend. He also told me he was only in town for the evening.

Who are these people? Is this situation actually that bad? I felt sick to my stomach. I saw his wife. I saw his kid. Are you a closeted married man? Or are you simply curious? I don't like rejection but I was firm. I told you several times I wasn't interested. Why go that bit further and just creep me out.

Its got me thinking though. One of my colleagues tried to 'In' me. He said he knows I'm gay but has never seen me hit on someone or allowed someone to hit on me. Should I just loosen up a bit and go with the flow? Am I putting to much pressure on what I want and not living in the moment? So confused right now.

On another note what is the deal with straight guys? When they find out I'm gay theyre like I won't go all the way with you but we could fool around. I mean thats hot but straight guys can fuck with your head! I've got a whole other post to write about straight guys uhh! Where are the normal people?

Any thoughts? Am I being stupid?

Andrew

Love love love! I want your love!

2010-01-30T07:20:00.002+10:00

So a couple of you have asked for an update on my crush. I've got good and bad news. The overall deal is 'Blah' I don't know what to think or how to feel. See my previous post if you don't know what I'm talking about.

So we were at the local club a week later. All my friends knew I had a thing for him so when he walked over my friends conveniently disappeared and he said to me "They were talking about me weren't they". I grew some balls and replied "its just because I think you're cute" to which he said nothing! From there one of my friends was chatting to him and she asked what his 'type' was and apparently I'm not it. My friend politely broke the news to me with 2 shots of jager ready to go! That night ended with me incredibly drunk and heartbroken. Its funny to say heartbroken when I barely know him but I honestly felt heartbroken. It's fun to have a crush regardless if nothing happens its just fun to have someone you're hoping to run into or someone to look good for :) Maybe I was crushbroken.

From there I was in the 'Fuck him!' stage and was just annoyed. Then a few days later he approaches me at work when he's quite drunk and I'm completely sober and says "Can I have a word with you?". We step over to the side as I mentally prepare myself for a second rejection face to face. He leans in and says "What are you doing later tonight I was hoping we could hang out." If you could see my face it would have had that 'WTF' expression. I was so confused. It sounded like he wanted a one night stand which is not what I'm looking for. I really just want a boyfriend. I told him I was busy but maybe some other time.

I really don't know what to do about this one. I don't think we really 'click' personality wise. I don't know if I'm putting to much pressure on the situation but I just don't have anything to talk to him about. I just don't know what to say when he's around.

Do you guys have any thoughts? Am I going down a dead end road?

Andrew

I think I'm in crush!

2010-01-05T16:03:00.004+10:00

Happy New Years to everyone! I hope 2010 is going to be your year! My new years was pretty boring... actually the entire holiday season was quite boring.. I worked through the whole period including Christmas day and a 15 hour shift on New Years Eve which rolled into New Years day. But I made the most of it and made some good money.

2010 has started off with a bit of a crush which I'm excited about. I'm completely unaware when someone is hitting on me. Probably cause its in a drinking environment and I've had a few too many. But I was just chatting to this random guy who was with a friend who I assumed was his girlfriend and well my friends came and dragged me onto the dancefloor and I thought nothing of it. The odd thing was that I kept bumping into him all night and I still didnt think anything of it until the next day when my friend asked who he was and told me that he kept trying to dance with me. I really don't have alot of evidence but thinking back it feels like maybe he was trying to hit on me.

I didnt even think he was gay not that you can look at someone and tell but I just wasnt getting the vibe. OMG he is so cute and was so sweet to talk to. The good thing is is that I live in a small touristy town and everyone goes to this club on the same night every week and one of my friends said he was there last week also so fingers crossed he's there next week.

*UPDATE* HE IS GAY! I kinda stalked him on facebook.. my bad

So what is everyones New Years resolutions? I wanna have a healthier lifestyle and get out and see some more of the world.

MEERY CHRISTMAS + UPDATE

2009-12-25T19:22:00.002+10:00

Howdy ya'll!

Firstly Merry Christmas all! I'm enjoying my first white christmas here in Canada.. its a bit odd having -40 temperatures around this time of year.. I'm used to +40 but the change is good. Sipping on spiced rum and egg nog and having fun in the snow. I love it! I hope wherever you are in the world that this time of year brings you happiness! It really makes me appreciate my friends and family back home when I'm in a foreign country with people I've know 6 months and not a lifetime!

So I kinda don't know what to blog about these days. I kinda wanna talk about sex/relationships/partying etc. but its kinda weird writing it down. 2009 has been a life changing year for me. Ups and downs but mainly ups!

This blog is constantly in the back of my head.. I miss the joy of sharing with all of you. I don't know if anyone still reads this but if you are then thank you!

I'll be posting in the new year about sex, snowboarding, straight guys, discrimination, acceptance and more! Can't wait to share.

Happy Holidays!

Love Andy

BRB

2009-10-02T18:26:00.003+10:00

Well its been a while since I last posted. I've kinda lost my enthusiasm to share my life. I guess its because all communication I have these day with friends/family is now by internet I feel like I'm constantly typing the same things to people back home.

So much has happened in the last few months I feel like a completely new person. I've always been a happy/positive person and now I'm like a new level of happy lol. Its hard to describe but I will blog about it soon.

So I kinda turned my back on the blogosphere. I havent read blogs, I havent been checking my inbox and I've let down a couple of special people. So I'm sorry but its definately not goodbye. I guess when so much is happening its important to live in the moment. I love having my blog but I think its more important to live in the real world too. I'm still trying to find that balance.

I hope to be posting regularly again soon. and catching up on my favourite blogs. I miss you guys :)

Andrew

First Follower Booyah!

2009-08-10T07:18:00.002+10:00

I absolutely love being the first follower on a blog. I know this irriates Baz slightly lol. Deal with it BAZ! haha

Please go check out this blog Out and Finally Free and show him some blogworld support!

Lol I saw this on his blog profile "What would you wear for camouflage if you were hiding in a gingerbread house?" Lol I love it!

Andrew

I made it!

2009-08-09T06:32:00.005+10:00

I've been M.I.A. for a little while now. I'm not tired of blogging. It's not that I have nothing to blog about. It's because I've moved internationally. Thats right! I've made the move to Canada. Internet access has been limited and the world comes before this blog. I stopped in Los Angeles for a couple of nights and checked that out. But now I'm in my new home away from home. So far so good. I've been adjusting to the Canadian way. For example

Bathrooms are called washrooms here
It's called hockey not ice hockey (bad mistake I made)
The currency is a little confusing (I cant remember which is a loonie and a toonie)
Canadians are crazy about Wings and UFC
Tipping is not compulsory in Australia so I'm adjusting to that

Thats just a few of them. There are also alot of things I love. But I will get to that later. Still a little jet lagged. Still not sure how often I will be online. So I aplogise if it takes me a few days to respond.

Hope everyone is doing well.

Andrew

Hide and Seek

2009-07-19T00:39:00.003+10:00

I get a text message from a co-worker of mine this evening.

Stacey: Jeremy asked if you were single.

Me: Please tell me you told him I was taken. You know I'm not interested.

Stacey: I know but its funny for me. I told him you were single and looking.

Me: Tell me you're joking.

Stacey: I wish I was.

Me: Ahhhh

Stacey: He said he is going to ask you out.

Me: Tell me you're joking.

Stacey: No. I laughed and told him we all knew he had the hots for you.

Me: Yay! Now I have two people to avoid at work. Sugar daddy and Jeremy.

Stacey: You love the attention.

Me: I like it till it gets serious. I can't help it if I'm irresistable.

Stacey: You wish.

Me: I'm never flirting again. It's evil.

So it seems I'm going to get asked out. I personally believe I'm very good at avoiding people. I think I could possibly avoid him for the next few weeks. He's nice enough (the same guy I've mentioned a couple of times before). But I'm not interested. I'm moving far away soon so there is no point starting something. He's ok looking. The part that scares me is that on his myspace (yes I stalked him - but he stalked me first) it say's he's really into emo's and goths etc. This shocked me for two reasons. He is not emo/goth and I am not emo/goth. My second thought was would he want to die my hair black and put eyeliner on me? I don't have the skin tone to pull off black hair.

Do I change my relationship status to 'In a relationship' to get him to back off. Do I tell him I'm leaving and there's no point. Or do just be honest and say I'm not interested. I think I already have the answer. HIDE and avoid confrontation. A part of me just wants to get laid (pun intended) but I don't want to lead him on.

I will update you on how things turn out.
Hugs

Andrew

P.S. Check out Mad Old Blog written by Peter. He's started done his first two posts so pop on over and say hi!

P.P.S. I've hit the 40 mark for followers! Thanks to my newbies!

Also: I've got some emails important to respond to so sorry for the delay! Been flat out.

I wish I was a butterfly! A social one.

2009-07-12T00:55:00.003+10:00

Uh! I'm so frustrated with myself right now! I need to be more social! I had several offers to go out tonight after I finished work tonight and I ended up 'piking' on them all. I also did this after I made plans with one of my friends to go out. My friend was so angry with me and now I feel terrible.

I work in a bar. I serve people alcohol. I see them dance. I see them get intoxicated and I sometimes get abused by people when I cut them off from the bar. I see them drunk. I see them make a fool of themselves. All of this while at work. Why would I want to be in that environment when I'm not working? I love to drink and party but at the moment I just want to have 'quiet' drinks at someones place or just chill out. I'm on my feet for 10 - 15 hours a day. I don't want to go to a bar and stand for hours and hours!

My friends who all work office ours do not understand this. They sit at a desk all day. I never want to be social at normal social hours. If I get a day off it is like a Wednesday. Dam hospitality!

I know its not just cause of work. I need to be more social in general. More spontaneous! I'm 21 and worry about arriving at work with a hangover. Its not like I don't have the opportunity its just I don't feel like it. Its Saturday night (well early Sunday now) and I'm at home and blogging. My life is so sad.

Got any grapes?

2009-07-08T11:28:00.010+10:00

G'day!

So this is kind of a random post. A bit of something and nothing as another blogger says. (No link inserted to stop raising questions).

My thought of the day is: 'Is it ok to flirt for fun?'

I personally think its all fun and games until somebody gets hurt. In the hospitality industry some people can ~~be extra helpful~~ flirt for tips (here in Australia we don't have a compulsary tipping system) and it can sometimes be a bit of a sport between bar staff. I really cant flirt with women (who would want to) unless they are like really old and its not really flirting its just being cute and adorable lol.

Since coming out I can feel relaxed in my own skin and am now discovering that I kinda like flirting with the same sex. There is this one guy who isn't a customer but isn't a co-worker (its a long story) he's kinda cute if you justify a few things in your head. I know he's gay so that helps. I dunno what I'm doing because I'm not sure if I have intentions to take anything further or not. But I'm really enjoying the flirting but I think its at the point where it needs to stop before someone (he) gets hurt. The other day he offered to "give me a drink" as opposed to "buy me a drink" not really sure if it means the same thing.

**********************************************

Ok so its a little far in advance but DID YOU KNOW:

AT 5 MINUTES AND 6 SECONDS AFTER 4 A.M., ON THE 7TH OF AUGUST, THIS YEAR, THE TIME AND DATE WILL BE: 04:05:06 07-08-09

THIS WILL NOT HAPPEN AGAIN UNTIL THE YEAR 3009!!!

(I had a deep feeling that you just needed to know this)

Aren't you glad you read my blog?

*******************************************

Also I thought I would share 'The Duck Song'. I love this video. It's pretty random but quacks me up. Get it 'quacks'. Oh dear I'm so lame.

P.S. This is the first video I have embeded. It was surprisingly easy but its kinda too big. Whoops.

Hugs

Andrew

Are you feeling the love?

2009-06-30T21:07:00.002+10:00

Although I haven't posted in a week I've been having a loving week in blogland. I'm feeling the love you could say.

I got a nice email from Baz and a mention on his blog (which he recently decided to start posting on again FYI)

I've been emailing back and forth over the last few weeks with another guy who lives in Brissy. (Hey Steve :D) It's good to chat to someone who knows Brisbane. (Note to self: Start referring to Brisbane more often).

I also got awesome email from a guy name Graham. I love getting encouraging emails!

Also thanks to google analytics I managed to come accross a few blogs that have linked me. I was also the first follower on two of these blogs. Thats right bitches! You heard it here first! lol I know what its like to get a shoutout when your still getting your blog up and running so go and leave a comment and say hi :D

So please give a warm welcome to:

Late Bloowming Ian

New Beginnings

TyBlog

Thanks for linking me guys!

Also while in google analytics I found that quite a popular blog has linked me. Its really cool I'm not sure what his name is but his blog is called Puntabulous.

So I'm feeling extra loved this week. Thanks ya'll. Also what is going on in blogland. Everyone is talking about this 'gay day' and taking pictures of their desks. WTF?

In other news: I've moved back home. Its good and bad but luckily only temproary.

Love you all

Andrew

I'm outta the closet

2009-06-21T11:46:00.003+10:00

I'm not really sure what came over me but I've been coming out to everyone this weekend. I kinda thought fuck it! Its an odd kinda feeling. Everyone's coming out story is different. For me there was no huge relief it just felt normal. I was talking about myself openly and honestly for the first time in my life.

I'm happy with who I am so I never worried about anyones reaction. I felt nervous telling people at first but it got easier with each one. I've never really came accross anyone homophobic before. I'm sure I will though. There is a part of me which relieved. There were things before that I couldnt say or comment on and now I can.

Everyone is really happy for me. Some will say "I told you so" and some say "No your not - your joking with me". I've had some interesting things happen since though.

My inbox is now flooded with half naked men emails from some of my female friends. I've also watched gay porn with some of my straight friends. I've also drank more than I have in my life. It seems everyone wants to celebrate my gayness lol. Its been a fun weekend. One that I will remember for ever.

I was sick of living in the closet. I know I said before that I never felt the 'weight on my shoulders' but what did get to me was that I couldn't waste another day not being my true self.

I feel on top of the world at the moment. To all you closeted guys. Do what you're comfortable with there are alot of people in tough situations but know that it's better on the other side.

Love you all

A Proud Gay man named Andrew

Sugar Daddy

2009-06-18T23:18:00.006+10:00

This week I was asked out for a date!!! OMG you're thinking this is great news! Well you're wrong! It was one of the most creepy and uncomfortable experiences of my life. Here is how it all went down.

So I'm at work and this older gentleman (at least twice my age) comes up to the bar. He is friendly and I am my usual friendly self and we chat briefly everytime he gets another drink. He was pretty chatty and was tipping quite well so I was happy to have a brief conversation. Everything seems fine at this stage.

Anyway I see him scribbling down some notes on a piece of paper. I get this odd feeling that whatever he is writing down is for me. Sure enough it is.

He hands me this folded piece of paper and goes back to his seat. I hold the note. I'm pretty sure I know exactly what this is. BTW - is it still acceptable to write notes to pick up people?

So I go out the back behind the bar where he can't see me and open this note and this is what it says:

"Dear Andrew

I know we've just met however I need to be discreet and hope that you do the same. I was hoping we could have a drink when you finish work or maybe more.

Guys name
Guys phone number "

I immediately felt sick. This creepy guy was trying to pick me up at work. Not only did he immaturely pass me a note. But he also went back to his seat and stared at me. He didn't have the guts to talk to me but he expected me to come over and talk to him about the note. So I panicked. I got someone to cover the bar and I hid. I felt sick. Why was he hanging around? I couldnt go back out into the bar.

Half an hour passes and I tried to build up the courage to go and talk to him but I freaked out. In the end he ended up finding me and cornering me alone. He put his hand on my shoulder. He asked me about the note. I said that he was making me feel uncomfortable and that I thought he should leave.

He would have to be in his 50's. I'm 21 FFS! My dad isn't even 50! Looking back and reflecting I feel even worse about some of the things he said. It didn't seem to out of the ordinary at the time. But I gave out too much information about myself. I'm an honest person and he took advantage of that.

After all this happened I had 2 nights off work and when I went back to work I found out that this guy had been in both nights. Luckily he didn't come back in that night. Work isnt supposed to be a place you feel uncomfortable but everytime I walk around a corner I see his face and have to do a double take.

Luckily I have amazing Karate skills. (just kidding lol)

Andrew

P.S. Tyler - I will email you soon! Haven't had a chance yet! Thanks buddy :D

Hetero Sex & Gay Pride

2009-06-13T16:40:00.003+10:00

So thanks for the comments on Part 1. I thought I should clarify something. This wasn't a recent event this was a few years ago. I've come along way since then and tt was kinda a turning point for me sexuality wise.

So I wen't soft when I was with this girl. I was mortified. I really don't know what was going on. I was quite drunk at the time and that was what I blamed it on but I knew deep down that I just wasnt attracted to the opposite sex. I hate to say that I had to test drive having sex with a female to be sure but I had to. We kinda fooled around for a bit after that. I didnt finish myself but she sure made did. I had a restless sleep that night. The next morning was awkward. We just hung out for a bit then I dropped her home. She was still really interested in me and I was just confused. I was a real jerk. I didnt return text messages or phone calls for about a week. I wanted to let her down easy but I knew that being the guy I am I would end up on another date out of sympathy. So I ignored her until she got the point and sent me an angry email. I have ran into her a few times since and she has tried to 'hook up' with me but I know I'm gay now and maybe one day I will explain why I was such a jerk. I don't really want any girl to think that they 'turned me agay' cause that isn't the case.

It got me thinking about being others being bi. Alot of people say that being bi is like 'on the way to gay town' but they just cant admit it. But I really think if you can sleep with guys and gals then there really is such a thing. I know I'm not attracted to women. I never have been. But I always dreamt of falling in love with a sweet girl and having a happy family. I guess they're dreams for a reason.

******

In other news. Today I was talking to this guy who works near me. He comes in to where I work all the time. I always thought he was cute. But thought he was straight. Well he comes up to me today and is like 'you should have come to Pride today'. I was kinda shocked .. like pride? does he mean gay pride? I don't know if this was some kinda attempt to see if I was gay. But I kinda was unsure about what he was talking about until I clarified it with someone else later. I did see him about 5 minutes later and he looked really upset. Poor thing. I feel like he took a risk to talk to me about gay pride and I kinda reacted like a uncomfortable straight guy.

Is it ok to assume someone is gay because they went to gay pride? Should I clarify things with him? I feel bad. Truth is I was just caught off guard at the time. Dam me and my lack of gay knowledge How did I not now about the gay pride parade in my own city?

Heterosexual Sex

2009-06-06T23:49:00.002+10:00

Wow! I Should be asleep (or at least be replying to a important email to Baz - Sorry Baz!) But I was thinking about my sexual experiences today and I thought I should share.

So I've had what the straight people call 'sex' before. It was a defining moment in my life and a kinda embarrassing story. Here goes.

So I met this girl through a mutual friend one night lets call her Betty-Sue (BS for short). Betty-Sue is a friend of a friend and we met while bar hopping in Brisbanes nightclubs. We got talking and several vodka redbulls later there was some grinding on the dance floor happening and a bit of eye contact going on (I was freaking out that I might actually seduce a girl). This girl seems really nice and pretty but kinda clingy and definately horny. We end up having a kiss on the dance floor (eww girl germs). So anyway she was staying with her friends place for the night and I was staying at my place and we didnt really take anything further that night. I was still questioning myself at the time. I was asking myself questions like 'can I just stick it in and I will be fine?' or 'I kinda like guys but for the moment can just have sex and forget about these thoughts?'

So the next day she added me on facebook and tags me in various photos where I'm drunk as a skunk. We get talking online and she is totally full on. She wants to go on a date. She thinks I'm great and wants to get together. (Side note: as I'm writing this I'm thinking what the hell was I doing?). So we organise a first date. We spent the afternoon together doing typical first date things and I invited her back to my place for a few drinks my housemates and I were having. Totally bad idea.

Things were kinda awkward on the first date. I mean it wasn't a first date cause I totally got to second with her a few weeks before on a dance floor in public but I really was just freaking out on the inside. She plans to spend the night and I told her to crash in my bed with me. We've been drinking alot and I've built up the courage to go through with this. So we get into bed and I'm fully dressed. I really didnt want anything to happen. Betty-Sue strips off completely naked and tells me to do the same (so much for foreplay). I do as told. So we're kissing and touching and everythings fine. Everything feels good. How far is this gonna go? I don't wanna sleep with BS. Is it too late to ask if we can just be friends? haha.

So I think I said something like 'I don't think we should sleep together tonight'. What kinda straight guy says that? I was trying to buy some time for myself obviously. She is not ok with this and is very persistant. She wants to have sex tonight and she is in control. So I decided I would do this. How bad could it be? We get into position and I'm having trouble figuring out what I should be doing. I've never been paid much attention to any of the females in the porn I've watched. What am I supposed to do? I kinda 'poked' around and found where I was aiming for. Actually I think she helped me with this. We were getting into things and I'm totally disgusted. I do not find BS attractive. It just feels completely wrong

Here comes the incredibly embarrassing part. I went soft on her. Oh dear.

I hate to be a tease but I'm tired. I will finish this as soon as I can.

While I have you attention. Thanks to the new followers! I try to link everyone who follows me so I will try get this done asap.

Also thanks for your feedback about my previous post on 'Questions of Sexuality'. You all had some great advice. All of it was very encouraging so thank you.

Keep it real.

Andrew

Questions of Sexuality

2009-05-28T22:46:00.002+10:00

Firstly - sorry for not posting as regularly as I should be. I've been slack and life has been kinda uneventful. Thanks for all the comments I've received recently they are greatly appreciated. I get some well thought and encouraging comments and I actually listen and put your ideas into action.

Tonight's post is about questions of sexuality.

It's funny that people won't directly ask me what my sexual orientation is. I don't know if they don't want to offend me if I was straight, whether its inappropriate to directly ask someone or whether it's all in my head. Either way there is definitely some questions which are directed towards me and my sexual oreintation.

Examples of these questions are as follows:

Where do you go clubbing?
Do you ever go to (inset common gay club here) ?
Do you think (insert females name here) is attractive?
She has a nice ass. What do you think?
Do you have a partner? (Note the use of the politically correct term 'patner')
Do you like penis? (Lol that one is just a joke)

I really think I have people on their toes. I think its fun to play with their minds a bit. For example "do you ever go to 'gay club/?" my answer would be something confusing like "I've been there a few times, do you know its a gay club?". It's fun to keep people guessing. It's also my decision to let people know what my orientation is and to be honest alot of the time its no ones business. I also think its unfair to be out to random strangers when I am closeted some friends/family.

I can't remember the last time I was directly asked if I was gay. It would have to be years ago when I struggled with the thought. If I was directly asked today and didn't want this person to know I think I would honestly struggle to deny it. I think thats a great thing though. I'm comfortable with myself and who I am and don't want to label myself as straight and have to correct this in future. I also hate having to reject girls without a honest answer.

Thats my little story of the day. Inspired by someone who said "they were trying to figure me out". They didn't get too far... well today anyway.

Thanks to all my new followers .. wait... all my followers! I have 30 special followers. I appreciate every one of you!

Andrew

You've gotta see this!

2009-05-18T23:28:00.002+10:00

NEWSFLASH!

Extra! Extra! Read all about it! The one the only Baz is blogging!

Before you check out his blog which is here! I have to say that Baz has been the most supportive online buddy to me. Baz is always there with advice and takes the time to write me thoughtful emails. I know he genuinely cares and that means alot to me.

So I've been kinda demanding him to start posting (he says I'm a terrier) however Bob gave him the plug he needed and he's now written his first post (which isn't technical related).

I know I can't wait to here Baz's story. So drop by his blog 'just gotta ride it' and give him some encouragement.

Luv ya Baz!

Andrew

Those words I just can't say

2009-05-15T23:04:00.003+10:00

So I've noticed there have been few posts recently on other blogs about coming out etc. It's got me thinking about myself and how I can't wait to be out to everyone in my life.

So I'm 21 years old and I know thats young and all but I feel like I should of come out when I was in my late teens. I guess the problem was is that I didn't come out to myself until I was 20. Before then if I was ever asked if I was gay I would deny it. So whats the hold up? I feel like I lost my window of oppotunity. I remember an awkward conversation with my Mum when I was 16/17 (she always interrogates me with painful questions while we're alone in the car so I can't avoid things). My Mum gives me the oppotunity to come out. She asks me if I'm gay. At this stage I'm in highschool and there is no way I want to do this. I thought I'm just going to bottle this up and deal with it another time. So I told my Mum I was straight. I lied. I know she didn't buy it.

Coming out to my parents isn't a problem. They would love a gay son. I know that they know. (They found gay porn on the computer when I was curious and 13/14 I think. But why can't I just say it! Time is ticking. Do I have to utter those words? Does it have to be acknowledged? Why can't I do it? My coming out is so simple. There isn't anyone I know who wouldn't accept me for who I am. It's 2009! I'm sure I have people guessing and appreciate that the majority of them haven't questioned my sexuality. I don't ever try to act straight. But am I being myself? I just don't want to have people guessing behind my back about my sexuality. I'm not flamboyant or anything but I'm not a blokey bloke.

I think I have to do it soon. I really wanted my parents to be the first to hear it from me (too late now). I think thats the least they deserve. Our relationship which is already great could only get stronger.

Time is ticking!!!! Gotta do this soon!

Any thoughts? ideas? concerns?

Andrew

P.S. Everyone have a great weekend :)

He asked me for a blowjob!

2009-05-08T22:42:00.003+10:00

I really hate to make this my third post about the redhead who has a crush on me at work who I am not interested in (see my the first and second post) but I am! It's my final though. I pinky promise!

So this week has been hectic ... sorry I've been slack posting. I'm going to make this quick cause its Friday night and it's drinking time!

Ok so this week I've worked with _____ 3 times and its gradually started freaking me out more and more. I was interrogated by my manager who asked me if I felt uncomfortable (she had noticed this extra attention I was receiving) I lied and said I didn't feel uncomfortable, only because I didn't want to make it awkward if she said something to him.

Anyway I had to ask him to do me a favour and grab me another vodka bottle or something and he says to me 'only if you give me a blowjob' *jaw drops*. So I slapped him! I slapped him like a girl who has just been called a whore!

Just kidding I didnt slap him. I nervously laughed it off and didn't say anything. Inside I was like 'aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!'. I mentioned it to one of the other bar staff and they we're like 'you've got to draw a line and stop this if you're not interested'. I didn't think of it any more that night. But did worry if he was being serious or just fooling around.

*skips two days ahead*

I arrive at work tonight and my manager comes up to me and says 'Andrew, you don't have to worry about _______ anymore he no longer works here. At this point I feel sick that I've had someone fired and my immediate reaction is to ask if it was related to me. I got no response. NOTHING! Just a simple 'thats all I can say he no longer works here'.

I feel terrible. I should have worked things out before it meant him losing his job! I don't have his number so I can't contact him to see if he's ok and to explain myself. But I don't want to contact him because he might think I care for him more than a friend. I don't think there is really more I can do? I wonder if I will ever know what really happened? Maybe he quit? No one said he was fired. I was just told 'he no longer works here'. Maybe he was confronted about the issue and was embarrassed and quit? I tried to get more out of the manager but that's all I could get.

I know it's not my fault (it's hard being so irresistible) but I can't help but think I could of done things differently.Oh well. I can't change what's already happened.

I'm about to start my second drink for the evening! Maybe I feel better about things after a few more.

Still nicknameless!

P.S. I heard the funniest phrase today. Lol someone said to me ' I'm hungrier than I Nun's vagina!' Politically incorrect but I couldn't stop laughing.

I'll take a risk and give it a shot!

2009-05-03T00:36:00.004+10:00

Incase you missed my previous post and you have no idea what I'm talking about below it's here. Firstly I just want to thank everyone for their comments. You guys had some great advice.

Today I came to the conclusion that he likes me, we're gay and work romance is totally hot! So I'll give it a shot! I'll take him out the back to the storeroom and have my way with him.

You wish jellyFISH! I got ya! I'm not desperate/ a manwhore.

My real conclusion is that he is a really nice guy and I only have friendship to gain. I'm not interested and as most of you suggested I shouldn't put up a barrier and I won't (well maybe a little white picket fence). I do have concerns about how things will go. I'm happy to have a conversation with him or a general chat but the more we work together the more he is trying to get me to open up and I don't want to enter that 'zone'. He tried get me alone in the car park after work tonight and I just kinda got in my car and locked the door incase he came after me. Gee I'm cruel.

It was awkward cause I was telling my housemates the story and they surprised me by coming down to the bar the next night to see what I was talking about (just to tease me mainly) and they talked to him briefly. They don't think I should go there. It's hard to go into details as to 'why exactly' I don't want to as some are superficial things and some are personality things etc. I don't want to offend anyone. Cough redhead Cough.

Moving on *thinks of a new topic*

Thanks to all those new followers! I've got 24 followers and I've only been posting for a couple of weeks so thanks for your support. Everyone check out this new blog by Miles. He's done his first post and he's 21 and an Aussie like me. Everyone go welcome him!

It's a long weekend here in Australia. I've got a wedding to go to tomorrow and no work Monday so I can party hard haha. What to wear hmm...

Oh I was also thinking that Andrew sounds very formal. I like my name but I find it a bit out of place when I see it mentioned on blogs/comments. Maybe you guys could suggest a nickname lol. Maybe Andy or the Azza? haha. Let me know what you think. I think I smell my first poll coming on! lol

That's all folks :)

Nicknameless

Work Romance ... Hot or not?

2009-04-30T23:10:00.001+10:00

I was totally oblivious to the fact but this guy has a total 'crush' on me. (I say crush as if I'm a giggly school girl). I mean it's not 'fact' but its pretty obvious to me now. It's the bar work I'm doing and he's one of my fellow staff.

He's new and he's been super super dooper nice to me. I always make an effort to get along with everybody so I thought because I was being welcoming that he had just appreciated this and was just reciprocating. Wrong!

It was brought to my attention tonight and now I can see what everyone is seeing. Lol everyone was paying me out and was like 'oooo he's in love with you Andrew'. Really embarrassing. I mean he's a sweet guy and fun to work with but just not the kind of person I'm looking for. I would normally love to be asked out or have someone who is 'keen' on me but I just find him creepy. I think its because I find work romance disgusting. I hate to watch two colleagues blossoming! I think I'm just bitter.

Im totally flattered and boy do I love to feel wanted. Now that I know I seriously love the attention but really all I can think is 'eww' or 'no'. Gosh I'm such a nice person. I think I have committent issues. As soon as I know I can have someone I'm just repusled. I think its just fun to flirt but when it becomes something more real I just put up a barrier.

I'm sounding cocky, for all I know he could just be a nice guy who wants nothing more than friendship but the facts are there (I won't go into detail) but surely I should let things play out and just see what happens? Right.

What do you guys think? Am I leading him on? I don't want to discuss this with him incase my co-workers/conscious is wrong. Should I just let things stay as and see what happens? Should I step away and put up a barrier? Or has my brain created this whole situation and there is nothing more than a healthy working relationship?

Comments, questions and concerns appreciated from all!

Andrew

It feels good to be stimulated

2009-04-28T13:22:00.002+10:00

Today I got stimulated by the Australian Government! Yep! I got a cheque for 900 big ones!
The purpose of this stimulus package is to inject money into the economy. I don't really know what to do with mine. I have everything I need and over the last few months I have become less and less materialistic. Don't get me wrong - It's great to be given this Government handout but I'm not gonna rush down to the shops to by a plasma tv.

I'm definitely moving overseas and it will probably happen in 8 - 10 weeks. So that's probably where this extra cash will go (probably not where the Government would like to see it go but its mine and I'll do what I like hehe) .

So you would think I would be bored outta my brains now that I'm not working but the thing is I have been working more than ever. I used to do bar work for a friend of mine who runs this club and he asked me to do some shifts for him Truth is bar work is a lot of fun and it doesn't pay half bad. I'm also going in to my previously employer twice this week (they just can't cope without me lol) to give further training to the idiot who replaced me. So keeping busy.

I was talking to Randy at Overrated Integrity on MSN before and I was saying that he had his own word/phrase which is 'EPIC' which he did say he stole from someone I can't remember who and at some point in the conversation is said 'furry muff' which I say all the time instead of 'fair enough' (and its funny how I say it all the time and the majority of people don't even notice). Randy said I should use it as my 'EPIC'. Lol but I don't know where or how I would use it. I don't think the majority of people who view my blog would like to be reminded of a furry muff.

I know I've had a few shoutouts on various blogs lately so thanks to anyone who takes the time to give me a plug. It means alot.

I'm off to go croc hunting as apparently this is what Aussies do.

Andrew

Moo Moo Music!!

2009-04-26T00:36:00.005+10:00

So... do I always start my posts with so? I think I do. I kinda write how I talk lol. I'm a typical Gen-Yer I'm constantly being told I say 'like' and 'so' all the time. It's something I need to correct as it can get on other peoples nerves. I've been having a few drinks and I thought I would write a post before the night is over.

I've been drinking with one of my housemates tonight. We couldn't be bothered going out so we just stayed at home and had a few too many vodkas...

The reason for this post is music. My housemates and I have very different music tastes. We would usually put on a mutual radio station/CD and hope for the best but I decided to put on the most played music from my ipod. I think that playing the music which is most played is a very personal thing. I love music. I fall asleep every night to music and I find music allows me to get emotional, excited and free. I like all kinds of music and I find it difficult to say I like one genre or another.

I really enjoyed sharing a part of myself with my housemate. We already know we have different tastes but it was good to share some of my most favourite songs. (Even if she didn't enjoy it)

Other than that I've been having a great weekend. Today is Anzac day (well yesterday was Anzac day since its after 12pm). Anzac day unites the people of Australia. Australia is an amazing country and I'm proud to be part of such a great community.

I hope you are all having a great weekend. I've had a few new followers over the last few days. Thanks for following my blog. Its great to know other people are out there.

Everyone feel free to add me on msn or shoot me an email (boyaboutbrisbane@gmail.com). Or leave a comment. I'm a little tipsy at the moment so I'm feeling friendly. Contact me, I'd love to hear from you :).

Thats all for now :)

Andrew

So.. Why did I start blogging again?

2009-04-23T20:44:00.003+10:00

Baz asked me the other day why I started blogging again. It was a really good question to ask. I kinda know why I started blogging again subconsciously but to put it in words on the 'spot' kinda caught me off guard. What has changed in my life to want me to start again?

The main reason being I needed an outlet as many of us do. My only real outlet used to be porn *tee hee* but as good as porn is I was craving something more. So I don't know how I started reading blogs I must of stumbled upon them one day. A fair few of the blogs I would regularly read are the same blogs on my blog list. So sometime mid last year I started writing my blog. That was the time I came out to myself. I've got another story about that - I'll save that for another day. So I always knew I was gay but I think I was on holidays and I had alot of time to think and then BAM! One night while laying in bed I came out to myself. I sleep alot better now that I'm not fighting who I am.

So last time I started writing this blog and simply lost interest. I didn't reach out and connect with anyone. I wrote 4 posts and I think I got 7 hits (probably from me). This time around I reached out and I've felt nothing but welcome. I know there are some really nice people out there. So I'm here to stay this time. I've got some good things about to start happening in my life and I can't wait to share.

Thanks to Baz for inspiring this post.

Andrew

Bad Car Karma

2009-04-20T23:15:00.004+10:00

Went to start my car this morning. It made the saddest little noise. I was like ahhhhh! this is gonna cost me a fortune! I'm enjoying my unemployment (by choice i might add) and this totally does not fit into my budget!

Got the Racq out. Didn't cost much. Just needed a new battery. I think I have bad car karma. I was gonna get all sexy on the weekend and soap it down in my tight fitted white shirt but I didnt. And now my car has gotten revenge.

Revenge Tally:
Car 1
Andrew 0

Luckily I dont have a job. Its not like I had anywhere I urgently needed to be.

BTW I'm still building up my 'comment courage'. It kinda scares me to comment. Sad I know. You should all punish me by not giving me any comments and thus making me comment on your blogs to make sure you haven't actually forgotton about me .

Incredibly sore from the gym tonight. Can't imagine how I will feel tomorrow.

Congrats to me! This is my 6th post! Which beats my previous record. I'm enjoying blogging this time around. Yeow!

Andreeewwwwww

Why do I love straight guys so much?

2009-04-19T08:28:00.003+10:00

Howdy ya'll

Quick post this morning.

So I've been awake for over 24 hours now. Had a big night. Stayed out all night the sun came up and now I cant sleep. Had a blast. We took some straight guys home for a few more drinks after everything closed. Why do I love straight guys so much? Was it because they were hot guys and I was drunk? It was fun hanging out with them. Somehow we ended up watching porn together? So random. They were really cute though. I gotta get some sleep. I'll finish this post after a nanna nap lol.

Andrew

Housemate issues & Random facts!

2009-04-18T15:56:00.004+10:00

So as I write this post my housemate (who is one of my very good friends) is currently in her room with her ex boyfiend. By the way they broke up well over a year ago and this is still going on! I used to be friend with her ex but we don't get along these days. I just want him gone out of all our lives and he's just always in my life. Whether he's over at our house or he's trying to hit on my sister. And yes! my housemate and I have had countless discussions about how I don't want him here but she just won't have any of that. It's a lovely situation we have happening.

*takes deep breath*

Enough negatives! I'm kind of just randomly writing this post. What is going to pop into my head next? Hmmmm...

Oh! I thought I would give you some random facts about me! Just so you get to know me a little better. If you have any questions fire them at me!

I recently turned 21! I'm not where I wanted to be at 21 and I feel like I've left things too late.
I'm just over 6 feet tall - I dont feel tall (I dont feel short either) I guess 6 foot is average? am i right or wrong?
I have light brown hair (its getting longish at the moment i need to get a cut)
I have alot of french in me
I was kinda a chunky kid but I'm a little more toned now
I love my iphone and any sort of technology
I rent a house with two friends both my age
My parents live close to me and I'm constantly going home
I love to drink and party! Yay its Saturday
I really suck at sharing facts about myself.

Thats it for now......I havent really started commenting on other peoples blogs yet. I'm still getting to know you all. But I have been reading them all.

Andrew

Good Morning World!

2009-04-17T09:24:00.004+10:00

Yay its Friday!

Yesterday I was caught up in a conversation with three straight guys (who don't know I'm gay) and it was really difficult for me to not feel uncomfortable. They were talking about this article in a Brisbane paper about this Gay resort. It had something to do with the name which the straight guys found intriguing. They were like 'why would you name it something like that, it so obviously implies something'. They kept going on and on about it and while what they were saying wasn't really offensive I just felt uncomfortable.

I know I should of been honest and blah blah blah but rather get defensive and 'out' myself I prefer to just keep my mouth shut. Which is probably just as obvious! But still I felt they were pushing and pushing me to see what I thought and I just smiled politely :) I'm not 100% comfortable with myself just yet.

So thats my random story.

While I have your attention - I also want to send a big shout out to Micky and his blogs check em out here here and here. Micky has been very supportive since I've 'restarted' my blog and I owe him big time :)

And also Sethy who is very familiar with where I live and grew up. He gave me a big shout out on his blog and I just wanted to say thank you!

Last one I promise - Randy - thanks for all your comments. Check out his blog too. Its a great read.

Today I'm sending off my visa application for somewhere in the Globe! Boy about Brisbane might be coming to a city near you! (not for a little while yet though).

Stay tuned

Andrew

P.S. Im getting my msn going - if you want to add me feel free to its boyaboutbrisbane@gmail.com

Woo!

2009-04-16T14:12:00.003+10:00

Firstly big thank you to Torchy and Sethboyardee for mentioning my blog on their blogs! You guys make my pants tight!

I think I'm up to 12 comments on my first post which is just amazing so thanks guys! Isn't it exciting to get comments? I almost creamed my pants with excitement. I think I'm becoming a comment whore! So thanks for everyone who commented - I used to be one of those people who just reads everyones blogs and never commented so I do appreciate it! I'm gonna start commenting more also.

I'm linking you all on my 'blogs i read' thingy and I'm a bit slow so shoot me! If I've forgotten you or you would like me to link you let me know.

So as I mentioned yesterday on my blog - I quit my job. It was kinda a random thing to do but it felt right, so today I got a call from them and they're like 'we're in meltdown' we need you back blah blah blah. (I finished last week btw) It felt good to felt missed and its funny that I had to quit to actually feel appreciated. So I went in for a few hours today and it made me feel even more confident about my decision to quit! I wish on my last I had of been like 'Up yours bitches!' but Im not that kinda person, although i do picture it in my head and i laugh.

This afternoon I'm gonna hit the gym and chill out! Being unemployed is the great! and the best part of it is i can afford it for like several months!

Andrew

My second first post

2009-04-15T21:20:00.002+10:00

So slap me! I wrote four posts and then never wrote again! Not that anyone was reading my blog - but I should of kept going - I gave up! Meh! So I'm starting from scratch again... its going to be more me rather than what I think people will find interesting. I deleted my old posts (they truly were terrible) and I'm starting again.

So whats new with me you ask? Well I've got alot more free time, I quit my job and now I'm going to work on the things that are important to me.

Just to get things going I thought I should tell you a little bit more about myself. Im recently 21 - I live in Brisbane (for the moment - I'll get to that in another post) I'm gay and dealing with that (I bet no ones heard that story before lol) but I read other peoples blogs and it seems like everyone needs somewhere to let some steam off and I want that.

So this is my second first post! If your reading this - keep following me! or else lol

Later gater

Andrew